Friday, October 21, 2011

Chopped: Young and Poor Edition
Yeah, it will never, ever happen.

Let me tell you why: because we are MASTERS of the mystery basket.  Your paycheck is late, or you just paid the rent, or you're a college student, and all you've got in the fridge is... THE MYSTERY BASKET.

More than once in recent history, I've opened the fridge and Mr. Ted Allen's voice has chimed in my head, "Contestants! The contents of your mystery baskets ARE: EGGS. MILK. A BAG OF POTATO CHIPS. MARSHMALLOWS. AND... BREAD."

Did anyone just think Bread Pudding? Yeah. See how good we are at this?  In theory, this could also be an omelette, or if you're feeling frisky, some sort of salty/sweet eggy in a basket.  Heck, garnish with the marshmallows. Know what? That's not even a challenge.

"Contestants! The contents of your mystery baskets ARE: SALSA. TORTELLINI. PICKLES. AND... FROZEN CORN."

I've seen this happen (Yes, Maggie. Of course I'm talking about you).  She lived to tell about it.  Furthermore, she reportedly liked it.  Frankly, it's less disgusting than some of the things I've seen happen on Chopped.

Food Network, I suggest you look into this.  Furthermore, I suggest you put us right next to actual chefs.  I would watch that show.