Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Try not to fumigate your house before you go to a coffee tasting.

The flea situation in my house was so bad that I went nuclear. Raid flea spray is amazing, and I don't care if I have involuntary muscle twitches forever, the fleas seem to have died horribly.  The only down side is that I didn't get to watch.

I've been known, from time to time to say something completely insane out loud.  I guess it's endearing... or so I've been told.

This one time, when I was working for Giant Nonprofit Organization, I was at a mixer we were hosting talking to a board member and the board chair.  As the Public Relations Officer, from time to time, I'd be forced to be REALLY REALLY social... which I can be good at... but sometimes, instead, I have the following conversation:

Board chair:  "That's why I have a gun at my house.  To keep my family safe."
Board member: "I don't know, I've never felt safe with a gun around."
Board Chair: "You need to defend yourself. It's like insurance. I keep several of them around."
ME: "I don't want a gun. I want to learn to kill people with my bare hands. Much cooler. You know, like Buffy."
-Blank Stares-
Me "You know... Krav Maga."
Board Chair: "Well, I can certainly see how that would be useful."

...thanks for letting me off the hook, Cliff.

Today was my first day at Big Coffee Shop.  Part of the training is to do a formal coffee tasting with every coffee they have.  A coffee tasting is not at all unlike a wine tasting... you smell it, record. Taste it, record. Swirl, consider regions, blah blah.

I probably did a little damage to my nose yesterday when I was spraying for fleas because I was having a hell of a time identifying any true smells. Except the tire smell on the French Roast. To be fair, I'm not the one that said "tires" first. I am, however, the one that did the following:

Manager: "So, this is the blend that most people take with milk and sugar."
Me: "It smells... really really floral to me. Um. Actually this smells like something specific."
Manager: "What are you getting?"
Me: "So, up until recently, I had a cat... and I should reiterate that I fumigated yesterday... but this smells exactly like Tidy Cat. Clean Tidy cat... but it smells exactly like Tidy Cat."
Manager: "That's... interesting. Now say it in a way that you can tell customers."
Me: "Heh. Um. Floral notes..?"
Manager: "Better..."

In my defense, that shit smelled EXACTLY like Tidy Cat.

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